Why Barry Bonds dressed like Paula Abdul:

The single-season home run king turned drag queen as the Giants staged their version of Fox’s “American Idol.” Bonds emerged from the clubhouse in the guise of “Idol” judge Paula Abdul, wearing a caramel-colored shoulder-length wig and fake breasts confined by athletic tape.

“I’ll never tell my wife to hurry up anymore. Because it took me forever to get dressed,” Bonds said. “I’ll never do that again, man. That tape was killing me.”

The accompanying photos are emotionally scarring.