Picked up Deathly Hallows on Saturday afternoon (I’d reserved it at Borders a month ago) and finished it Sunday night. I could have saved so much time if only I’d found Potterdammerung first:

A small village in rural England, the sort of place that has an unbelievably high murder rate and unaccountably inept local cops who must rely on sweet old ladies to solve crimes. Two men materialize in front of the gate of a palatial estate.

Yaxley: HAI I IZ DEATHEATER NOT APPEARING IN PREVIOUS BOOKS. YOU HAS NEWS?

Snape: Of course I have news. I’m an evil genius of unaccountable intelligence.

YAXLEY: THAT IZ GOOD. WE B FRENDS?

Snape: Come on, Lord Voldiething is waiting.

Many many spoilers, obviously, plus adult language probably unsuitable for first-years.